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January 2004

By Brian O'Grady
Writing tight; writing crisp

Q: Are there techniques for writing really succinct, attention-grabbing text?
A: You betcha. And three of them are a red pen, verbs, and another pair of eyes.

One of the biggest challenges in promotional writing is that everyone can write - just like everyone can drive. You've probably heard that most people consider themselves to be an above average driver. But how many superior drivers have you met on the road? It's the same with writing.

The difference between mediocre writing and great writing often lies in solid editing. Editing is a blanket term and can mean a copy edit, a style edit, a structural edit, and many others. While style and structure are important, the most jarring errors are copy editing errors. And since most promotional writing is quite short, the importance of a good copy edit and brevity is disproportionately high.

Once your spelling, punctuation and grammar are right, here are a couple tips for taking your writing to the next level.

Cut every unnecessary word and use present tense.

Compare these two sentences:

"In addition, our product will change your life and will improve the weather and is able to make a good cup of coffee."
"Our product changes your life, improves the weather and makes good coffee."

Both sentences say the exact same thing but one is much better. The first sentence uses 23 words, the second only 12. This makes your statement sound more assertive and recognizes the short attention span of your audience. Most audiences of promotional writing are skeptical and unlikely to give your text much time: work fast!

The second important difference is the verb tense. Using present rather than future tense implies the activity is already happening and creates additional excitement. Using future tense words like "will" or "shall" suggest your product may or may not follow through on your claims. Here's another example from an ad that encourages the audience to fly south to escape the Ottawa winter.

"The only white stuff outside your window will be a cloud beyond seat 15c."
"In seat 15c, the only white stuff outside your window is cloud."

In this example, sentence two is only 2 words shorter but changing the verb tense to present from future makes it far stronger. Also, the second sentence opens by placing your audience in the environment you want them to picture - a flight south - and follows with a reference to the snow they're escaping.

Work with an editor.

Finally, another invaluable, obvious and often ignored writing tip is to have another person edit your writing. Self-editing is good, but another person's editing is almost always better. If you can't get another person to be your editor, plan to leave some time between writing and editing your piece to freshen up your own perspective.

Other than knowing your audience, there are probably no absolute writing rules that work in every situation. But chopping words, present tense, and working with an editor are tools no writer's tool kit should be without.

Brian O'Grady is a senior writer with Pens 4 Hire, a professional writing firm with a unique appreciation for audience. Between writing tasks in high-tech, real estate, and entertainment, Brian works on perfecting his driveway shoveling technique.